How the Same Question Evolves from Band 6 to Band 9 — with Full Essays, Color-Coded Commentary & Clear Explanations
🎯 Essay Question
Some people believe academic subjects should be the main focus in schools, while others think practical skills should be equally taught. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
🟣 BAND 6 ESSAY – Basic, Functional, but Limited in Depth
🧩 Essay Text (Color-Coded with Explanations)
🟩Thesis:
Some people believe that academic subjects like science and maths should be the most important part of education, 🟨while others think schools should also give time to practical skills such as cooking or carpentry. 🟧In my opinion, both academic and practical learning are important, but many schools focus too much on theory.
🟦Topic Sentence (Body 1):
Firstly, it is true that academic knowledge helps students build a strong career in the future.
Students who study subjects like physics, chemistry, and mathematics have more chances to get professional jobs such as engineers, doctors, or teachers. 🟨Moreover, these subjects also improve logical thinking and problem-solving abilities. 🟧However, sometimes schools only focus on exams and memorization instead of practical understanding, which makes learning boring.
🟦Topic Sentence (Body 2):
On the other hand, learning practical skills can make students more independent.
For example, if young people know how to cook or fix things, they can manage their daily life better. 🟨In addition, some students are not good at academic studies but are talented in practical work, so giving them such opportunities helps them feel successful and motivated.
🟩Conclusion:
In conclusion, both academic subjects and practical skills are important. 🟧Schools should make a balance so that students can prepare for real life as well as for academic success.
🧠 Commentary (Band 6 Breakdown)
| Criterion | Analysis |
|---|---|
| Task Response | The student answers the question and gives an opinion, but ideas are simple and underdeveloped. Limited examples. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | Logical flow but uses basic connectors (“firstly,” “moreover,” “in addition”). Paragraphing is clear but mechanical. |
| Lexical Resource | Vocabulary is everyday and limited (“important,” “successful,” “career,” “real life”). No idiomatic or topic-specific expressions. |
| Grammar Range & Accuracy | Mostly correct but simple sentence structures dominate. Few complex sentences; limited variety in tenses and clauses. |
| Overall Band: | Band 6.0 – Meaning is clear, but expression and development are basic. |
🚀 Band Improvement Tips (6 → 7)
- Replace general vocabulary with topic-specific lexis (e.g., “academic disciplines,” “vocational training”).
- Add specific examples and explanations, not just opinions.
- Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., “On the contrary,” “This highlights that…”).
- Include complex sentences (with subordinate clauses, conditionals).
🔵 BAND 7 ESSAY – Organized, Developed, but Not Fully Sophisticated
🧩 Essay Text (Color-Coded with Explanations)
🟩Thesis:
Some individuals argue that schools should concentrate mainly on academic subjects because they are essential for higher education and employment. 🟨However, others believe that practical skills are equally valuable for students’ personal development. 🟧In my view, a balanced curriculum that includes both types of learning is the most effective.
🟦Topic Sentence (Body 1):
Academic education plays a crucial role in preparing students for professional life.
Subjects such as mathematics, science, and languages equip learners with intellectual skills required in modern workplaces. 🟨For instance, medical students must have strong academic foundations before practicing medicine. 🟧Nevertheless, focusing only on theory can make education disconnected from the realities of life.
🟦Topic Sentence (Body 2):
On the other hand, practical skills are vital for students to become self-sufficient and adaptable.
🟨For example, learning to cook, manage finances, or repair basic household items enables young people to handle everyday challenges independently. Furthermore, vocational education can help those who are not academically inclined to discover their talents and contribute to society in meaningful ways.
🟩Conclusion:
In conclusion, while academic subjects provide knowledge necessary for intellectual growth and career development, 🟧practical skills ensure students are equipped to handle real-world situations. Therefore, both should be given equal attention in school curricula.
🧠 Commentary (Band 7 Breakdown)
| Criterion | Analysis |
|---|---|
| Task Response | Ideas are clear, relevant, and extended with examples. Balanced discussion maintained. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | Logical sequencing and varied linkers (“on the other hand,” “for instance”). Cohesion is natural. |
| Lexical Resource | Vocabulary range is moderate to good, with topic-related terms like “curriculum,” “self-sufficient,” “vocational education.” |
| Grammar Range & Accuracy | Accurate with some complex structures (“although,” “while,” “before practicing…”). Minor slips may occur but do not impede understanding. |
| Overall Band: | Band 7.5 – Fluent and coherent but lacks high-level sophistication or subtlety. |
🚀 Band Improvement Tips (7 → 8)
- Use advanced collocations (“bridge the gap between theory and practice,” “holistic development”).
- Show depth of reasoning — “why” and “so what” behind your point.
- Integrate advanced grammar like participle clauses, relative clauses, and complex noun phrases.
- Vary sentence openings to improve fluency and rhythm.
🟢 BAND 8 ESSAY – Clear, Fluent, and Logically Sophisticated
🧩 Essay Text (Color-Coded with Explanations)
🟩Thesis:
There is an ongoing debate about whether schools should primarily emphasize academic disciplines or devote equal time to practical skills. 🟧In my opinion, both areas are interdependent; 🟨while theoretical knowledge builds intellectual foundations, practical skills translate that learning into real-life competence.
🟦Topic Sentence (Body 1):
Academic subjects form the intellectual backbone of a student’s education.
They cultivate analytical thinking and cognitive discipline necessary for complex problem-solving. 🟨For instance, mathematics sharpens logical reasoning, whereas science encourages experimentation and evidence-based judgment. 🟧However, when schools prioritize rote memorization over understanding, the true purpose of academics is undermined.
🟦Topic Sentence (Body 2):
Equally, practical skills foster independence and adaptability in a rapidly changing world.
🟨For example, basic life skills such as budgeting, cooking, or digital literacy enable individuals to function efficiently outside the classroom. Moreover, vocational subjects like design technology and engineering connect theoretical learning with tangible outcomes, making education more engaging and applicable.
🟩Conclusion:
To conclude, 🟥a curriculum that bridges the gap between theory and practice not only enhances students’ intellectual growth but also equips them with practical competencies. Education should, therefore, nurture both the mind and the hands to prepare learners for real-world challenges.
🧠 Commentary (Band 8 Breakdown)
| Criterion | Analysis |
|---|---|
| Task Response | Ideas are well-developed, supported, and balanced. Clear position maintained throughout with critical insight. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | Seamless transitions, varied connectors, and strong logical flow (“equally,” “however,” “whereas”). Paragraphing is strategic. |
| Lexical Resource | Excellent range: “interdependent,” “cognitive discipline,” “tangible outcomes,” “bridges the gap.” High lexical precision. |
| Grammar Range & Accuracy | Complex, accurate structures using conditionals, participle clauses, and sophisticated phrasing. Errors are rare and minor. |
| Overall Band: | Band 8.5 – Fluent, natural, and well-argued. Could still refine tone and cohesion for Band 9 perfection. |
🚀 Band Improvement Tips (8 → 9)
- Refine tone to be academic yet natural, avoiding repetition of linkers.
- Include subtle contrast or nuance in your argument.
- Use metaphorical or conceptual phrasing (“education should cultivate the intellect and craftsmanship of the learner”).
- Maintain consistent lexical field — avoid mixing formal and semi-formal words.
🔴 BAND 9 ESSAY – Expert, Balanced, and Stylistically Refined
🧩 Essay Text (Color-Coded with Explanations)
🟩Thesis:
The debate surrounding whether schools should emphasize academic subjects or practical skills reflects a deeper question about the purpose of education itself. 🟧I believe an effective education system integrates both elements, 🟨as intellectual understanding and practical application are not opposing forces but complementary dimensions of learning.
🟦Topic Sentence (Body 1):
A strong foundation in academic subjects remains indispensable in the 21st century.
Disciplines such as mathematics and science cultivate not only knowledge but also 🟥the capacity for abstract reasoning, innovation, and intellectual curiosity. 🟨For example, technological advancements and medical breakthroughs emerge from theoretical research grounded in years of academic inquiry. Yet, when education becomes overly exam-oriented, it risks producing students who can recite information without truly comprehending it.
🟦Topic Sentence (Body 2):
At the same time, practical skills translate knowledge into meaningful action and help individuals navigate real-world complexities.
🟨For instance, financial literacy enables young adults to make informed decisions about savings and investments, while teamwork and communication skills prepare them for collaborative work environments. 🟧Furthermore, practical education empowers creativity — the ability to transform theoretical insight into innovative solutions.
🟩Conclusion:
In conclusion, 🟥education should not be confined to acquiring facts nor limited to manual skills. The highest purpose of schooling is to harmonize intellect and practicality, fostering individuals who can both think critically and act effectively.
🧠 Commentary (Band 9 Breakdown)
| Criterion | Analysis |
|---|---|
| Task Response | Fully developed, insightful, and original. Offers a balanced argument with conceptual depth. Addresses all aspects of the question seamlessly. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | Sophisticated cohesion — ideas unfold naturally with implicit linking rather than mechanical transitions. Cohesion achieved through conceptual flow. |
| Lexical Resource | Native-like precision: “harmonize intellect and practicality,” “complementary dimensions,” “intellectual curiosity.” Word choice elevates tone and clarity. |
| Grammar Range & Accuracy | Flawless variety — conditionals, participle phrases, relative clauses, parallelism. No grammatical errors. |
| Overall Band: | Band 9.0 – Elegant, coherent, and intellectually mature. Demonstrates mastery of academic English and IELTS task requirements. |
⚖️ 📊 Band Comparison Table – From 6 → 9
| Feature | Band 6 | Band 7 | Band 8 | Band 9 |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Thesis Clarity | Simple opinion | Clear opinion | Balanced, nuanced | Conceptual and elegant |
| Idea Development | Limited | Sufficient | Strong and logical | Deep, insightful, critical |
| Examples | Basic/general | Relevant | Concrete | Conceptual or real-world |
| Linking Devices | Basic (“firstly”) | Varied (“however”) | Natural flow | Implicit logical progression |
| Vocabulary | Common words | Academic lexis | Precise & varied | Elegant & sophisticated |
| Grammar Range | Simple | Complex but uneven | Advanced accuracy | Mastery & stylistic control |
| Overall Fluency | Understandable | Fluent | Cohesive | Effortlessly natural |
| Approx. Band | 6.0 | 7.0–7.5 | 8.0–8.5 | 9.0 |
🧭 Key Takeaways
✅ Structure remains consistent (Intro → Body 1 → Body 2 → Conclusion),
but depth, precision, and cohesion evolve with each band.
✅ Band 6 explains; Band 7 discusses; Band 8 analyzes; Band 9 reflects and synthesizes.
✅ Success lies not just in grammar or vocabulary, but in the relationship between ideas.