IELTS with Mujahid · Academic Writing
Sending your writing to your instructor for review...
Compare your response against a high-band sample — don't aim to copy it, use it to see how ideas are organised and supported.
The line graph illustrates how the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare, changed between 1960 and 2020, measured in millions.
Overall, manufacturing and agriculture, the two traditional sectors, saw their workforces shrink or stagnate over the period, while retail and healthcare grew substantially, with healthcare overtaking manufacturing by the end of the period.
In 1960, manufacturing was already the largest employer, with 15 million jobs, and this rose further to a peak of 20 million by 1980, before declining steadily to just 13 million by 2020. Agriculture, meanwhile, employed a similar number to retail in 1960, at around 6 million, but fell sharply to just 3 million by 1980 and continued to decline gradually, ending at only 2 million in 2020.
By contrast, both retail and healthcare expanded considerably. Retail jobs rose steadily and consistently, from 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020, nearly matching manufacturing's decline. Healthcare showed the most dramatic growth of all, starting from a mere 2 million jobs in 1960 and rising continuously to reach approximately 15.5 million by 2020, overtaking manufacturing sometime after 2000.
As urban populations continue to grow, some argue that building tall apartment blocks is the best solution to housing shortages in large cities. I largely agree with this view, although I believe it should not be treated as the only solution.
There are strong reasons to support high-rise housing as a primary strategy. Most importantly, tall apartment blocks allow cities to house far more residents per unit of land than low-rise housing, which is essential in cities where space is scarce and land prices are extremely high. Cities such as Hong Kong and Singapore demonstrate that high-density vertical housing can accommodate millions of people while still preserving green space and reducing urban sprawl into surrounding farmland or countryside. Furthermore, concentrating residents in tall buildings makes it more efficient to provide public transport, utilities, and services, since infrastructure can serve many people within a small area.
However, I do not believe tall apartment blocks should be viewed as the sole answer. Poorly designed high-rise developments have, in some cities, led to social isolation, overcrowding, and a lack of community spaces, particularly when not accompanied by adequate parks, schools, and amenities. A more balanced housing strategy would combine tall apartment blocks with mixed-use developments, suburban housing expansion, and improved public transport links to surrounding areas, rather than relying on height alone.
In conclusion, while I agree that tall apartment blocks are an effective and often necessary way to provide housing in large cities, city planners should treat them as one important tool among several, rather than the single best solution.