IELTS with Mujahid · Academic Writing
Sending your writing to your instructor for review...
Compare your response against a high-band sample — don't aim to copy it, use it to see how ideas are organised and supported.
The line graph illustrates how many shops shut down and how many new ones opened in a single country from 2011 to 2018, with figures measured in units.
Overall, both closures and openings fluctuated considerably over the period, with openings generally outnumbering closures in the earlier years before the pattern reversed after 2015. The most dramatic feature was a sharp dip in closures in 2015, followed by an equally sharp rebound.
In 2011, shop openings stood noticeably higher than closures, at roughly 8,500 compared with 6,400. This gap narrowed considerably by 2012, when closures overtook openings for the first time, at around 6,000 against 3,700. Closures then rose to a peak of approximately 7,200 in 2013, before both figures converged closely in 2014, at just over 6,000 each.
The most striking change occurred in 2015, when closures plummeted to just 600, their lowest point on the chart, while openings held steady at around 4,000. From 2016 onwards, closures recovered to between 5,000 and 5,200 and remained fairly stable through to 2018, consistently exceeding openings, which drifted gradually downward to around 3,000 by the end of the period.
It is increasingly common for individuals suffering from health issues to turn to alternative therapies, such as acupuncture, herbal remedies, or homeopathy, rather than consulting conventional doctors. In my view, this shift is largely a positive development, although it is not without certain risks.
On the positive side, alternative medicine often takes a more holistic approach, addressing lifestyle, diet, and mental wellbeing alongside physical symptoms, which conventional consultations rarely have time to cover. For example, many patients with chronic conditions such as back pain or anxiety report significant relief from treatments like acupuncture or yoga therapy, which also tend to involve fewer side effects than pharmaceutical drugs. Furthermore, the growing popularity of these treatments has encouraged mainstream healthcare providers to take a more integrated approach, combining traditional and alternative methods for better patient outcomes.
However, this trend also carries genuine dangers. Unlike conventional medicine, many alternative treatments are not rigorously tested through clinical trials, meaning their effectiveness and safety cannot always be guaranteed. There have been cases where patients with serious illnesses, such as cancer, delayed essential medical treatment in favour of unproven remedies, sometimes with tragic consequences. This suggests that while alternative medicine can be a valuable complement to conventional care, it should not be treated as a wholesale replacement for it.
In conclusion, although the rise of alternative medicine reflects a welcome shift towards more personalised and holistic healthcare, it should ideally be pursued alongside, rather than instead of, professional medical advice.